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| Take me to the place Lord
Where there’s nothing else but me and You
Longing for Your presence
I know that You are calling me to You
Here I stand
And long for Your embrace
Nothing else
Could ever take Your place
Come Holy Spirit
Fall in this place
I need more and more of You
Fill me again with the power of Your Spirit
Lord I’m crying out for
More and more of You
Lord I’m crying out for
More and more of You
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| I don't like thinking about the future. One thing I've always insisted on, and my mom always hated, is the Chinese proverb: 船到橋頭自然直 (The boat will straighten itself when it needs to cross under the bridge - meaning, things will take care of themselves). And from all my canoing and kayaking experiences in the great Pacific Northwest, it's pretty much true.
I like to pretend to be care-free, yet I think about the future all the time -
Like right now. I should be thinking about "living freely and living responsibly" for my political theory class final paper, but instead I started thinking about what's going to happen after I graduate next year. Where am I going to go for law school?
The love-me, attach-y side of me has the infamous CFC-loyalty. Going to UIUC for law school almost
feel like it would be worth it from this perspective - my brothers and sisters here, CRH, the chances to
serve, the opportunity to grow...I'm comfortable here. I want to find a wife here, is probably one of the
more, uh, significant reasons, too.
The ambitious side of me want to try for a prestigious law school - somewhere that will make people
go "ooo" when I mention it as my Alma Mater. Somewhere impressive. Somewhere that will garner me
respect. Somewhere that will put me in crazy debt for a good portion of my life.
And then there is the side of me that's homesick - the side of me that wants to go home to Seattle,
obviously the most beautiful place on Earth. Other than Alaska maybe. University of Washington has
a good law school - and would most likely lead to a job there. And my dogs. They are growing old - and
I barely get to be with them.
What will happen to Taiwanese Outreach / SALT? How could I leave the friends I made here? Or the girl I like? And where is my future wife? (Yeah, the motto of room 350  )
But oh, how I forget - that old Chinese saying is right - in a sense. When God is at the helm of that boat, it WILL steer straight through that underpass.
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to you.
Oh ye of little faith, why do you doubt?
Oh Lord, where you want me, I will be.
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| Sunrise, sunset, swiftly flow the days.
Sunrise, sunset, swiftly fly the years.
Three years have gone by in the blink of an eye, and already
it is time to say good bye.
A moment like this almost warrants a rhyme, but that would
just be a waste of my time.
We will forever remember the cherished memories we shared,
The memory of a room that means more than a room to us –
It is home, our cradle and our
refuge, here so far from our homes;
It’s where we studied together,
played together and wasted time together;
It’s where we laughed together,
cried together (uhh did we do that?), and joked together;
Where strangers became the best of
friends – and friends learned to be brothers in Christ.
The memory of Snyder 350.
The time our room was flooded with toilet water from the
bathroom.
Finding toenails in our carpet, and finding more week after
week.
The long nights we stayed up studying for business law – but
ended up talking about eunuchs instead;
Taking rock-climbing and marksmanship classes together, and
watching Jim dangle from a cliff.
Talking about our singlehood, and laughing about how
hopeless we are with girls.
The countless nights of gaming – Counterstrike, Command and
Conquer 3, Call of Duty 4, and more – sleeping at sunrise to wake up at 9am
for Sunday Service.
But don’t forget all the times we played the guitar together
and sang together – to worship the God that brought us here;
And don’t forget that it was in Snyder 350 that we grew up
together, matured together, and learned to follow God together.
Some of us will stay in this room – but some of us will be
leaving:
Fred, Jonathan, and Seonwoo – Godspeed in your future
endeavors: whether it be grad/law school, work, or the Korean military,
Here at last, comes the end to our fellowship -
Yet though we shall be separated by the breadth of the Earth,
We remain
Your loving brothers in Christ,
- Snyder 350
天涯海角, 此義不渝
不求同年同月同日生, 只求同年同月同日死
若違此義, 天誅地滅
青山不改, 綠水長流, 後會有期!
*VERY* rough translation (because the full eloquence and emotion can only be felt in Chinese):
Even scattered to the edge of the sky and the corners of the sea, this brotherhood will not waver
We do not ask to be born on the same day of the same month of the same
year - just to die on the same day of the same month of the same year.
May heaven and earth destroy us if we betray this brotherhood.
The blue mountains do not change, and the green river flows evermore - we shall meet again!
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| 
I often find that I have a particularly stubborn sense of allegiance
and loyalty. Probably a result of my love-me heart motive (You should
see me in a Taiwan-China debate. Oh wait, most of you have). And so I
find myself with a special sense of attachment and loyalty to CRH – in
a way not unlike early Americans – such as the founding fathers, or
Robert E. Lee from the Civil War days – who were attached strongly to
their states in addition to the federation uniting these states.
In a large church like CFC, subdivision of this larger family into
smaller families (areas, in our case) is important. And in the end
these areas are the tool of the church for training its members. I know
at least for myself, I was trained by CFC mostly through CRH.
I think my stubborn allegiance, “area pride” so to speak, have been
something God worked through in leading me towards learning how to
serve my area. I didn’t care for dorm ministry – I didn’t consider
outreach to be something I’m good at (still don’t) and thought it to be
too much sacrifice. But God thought differently.
And so I am writing this note to reflect on this year’s area ministry –
from the extent of my participation – so as to serve as an
encouragement and reminder for next year.
Along with the many brothers and sisters in CRH, we have the vision to
see our area become more and more so a place that trains godly men and
women – an area with a biblical community and dynamic discipleships.
Biblical community has been the unspoken theme we strived after
–especially this year, in light of the trend of CRH emmigration and the
diminishing numbers, building a biblical community became a particular
focus. It’s not about the numbers –it’s about the quality of the
relationships, we always tell ourselves. It doesn’t really matter that
there are only 7 juniors in CRH, for example, as long as we are
faithful in building dynamic, biblical fellowship and faithful in the
relationships that we do have.
And biblical community entails dynamic discipleship –t the kind where
brothers and sisters learn from each other while living together in the
dorms and apartments, through their friendship and relationship –
dynamic discipleship where older brothers and sisters, through their
relationship with God, will love and lead their younger brothers and
sisters, edifying them and acting as their role-model.
This means, of course, everyone’s participation and ceaseless prayers.
The older brothers and sisters have extended spiritual responsibilities
especially.
While I feel disappointment at the upperclassmen who told me they don’t
want to be a part of area ministry because they don’t “feel like doing
it,” I confess that I too, while accepting these spiritual
responsibilities externally, have failed to be faithful to this calling
internally.
- Selfishness and refusal to die to myself (goes back to my kernel of wheat post)
- Lack of modesty and humility – it amazes me sometimes, that even in
the midst of ministry I’m still thinking about glorifying myself.
- I’ll admit dorm ministry is particularly attractive when you get your
very own little following of minions :) But then I forget that I must
LOVE these “minions” as brothers in Christ – be an older brother to
them by praying for them, involving them in ministry, and caring for
them.
- Lack of love – that’s what it all comes down to, right? If there is
love and passion in what I do, selflessness, modesty, and all that will
naturally follow.
All these things have led to countless regrets on my part: missed opportunities, squandered chances, grace abused...
What’s the remedy? I don’t really know honestly…there’s no quick fix
except the long slow process of growing– but I do know this:
- God continues to use me, continues to ask me to serve. “O God, why
have You chosen me, out of millions?” I often ask myself. I am
inadequate to the task, for sure – and yet through this school year all
these younger brothers started coming to me for advice, for theological
questions, or with prayer requests. God continues to give me spiritual
responsibility despite my spiritual irresponsibility.
- God’s faithfulness showed me it’s about willingness and faithfulness
– not strength, talent, or ability. I am thoroughly convinced I lack
all of those.
- God wants to use every single one of us. We are all in CRH for a reason, do you not believe that?
- Prayer is powerful – I have seen it work in so many aspects of my
life this year, whether in praying for my friends and things they’re
going through, or praying for CRH through area prayer.
Oh just think about the potential for CRH!
CRH Basketball, our (near) weekly jam sessions, our weekly area prayer
time at MP, the way we all eat together whenever we can, our random
food events (mmm CRH Rib Night)…God is working through all that!
Brothers and sisters,
In an area that covers an entire city, where dorms and apartments are
scattered throughout, we must join, or die. Every member must be
growing, so the body of Christ will also grow.
Snyder, Weston, Scott, Garner, Hopkins, Forbes, the apartments, Illini
Tower, Bromley, Sherman, TVD, and Triad – we’re scatter all across the
Champaign side of campus, severed like the snake in the attached
picture (edited from Benjamin Franklin’s cartoon during the American
Revolution). Join, or die.
So let’s start praying for CRH 2008-2009 – it will be a new start as
much as it’ll be a continuation of all the ways God’s worked in our
area.
We have been storing up prayers for New Student Week next year, and we
NEED to do that! Let’s continue to pray for the scattered dorms and
apartments, that next year each member of a scattered body will come
together in our desire to show Christ.
Let us pray, so that next NSW we will be ready to give our best.
Brothers and sisters!
Let us hold down Champaign for His Kingdom – and pray for every single room to be transformed into a temple of God.
P.S. Start coming to Friday Area Prayer | | |
| The night is cool and calm at the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport.
The smell of cigarettes fills the air, the traffic lane is far from calm.
Cars fighting to pull over as close to the side walk as possible, Re-united family members embracing, parting lovers exchanging goodbye-kisses,
And standing outside the Arrival terminal, I felt like a fool...a fool that's experienced the grace of God once again.
How does someone who flies ten times a year (back and forth between school and home) make a mistake like this?
Of all the times things went wrong on my flights (quite often, as some of you might know), only twice was out of my mistake: first time flying home from school my freshman year...and this time.
Basically I made traveling arrangements from Champaign to Chicago under the assumption that my flight is at 6pm.
When really it's at 3:30. 
How did that happen? I don't know...
Not a good start to Spring Break at all.
The ride up to Chicago was uncomfortable to say the least.
One part of me kept thinking: "You know what? God's got you out of flight problems WAY worse than this before. God will take care of you."
The other part thought: "You're an idiot, how did you manage to end up in this situation?" And doubts coursed through my mind. Will God get me out of this?
"The flight is REALLY packed," the lady at the Alaskan Airlines check-in counter told me, as she put me on the standby list. And the next flight is tomorrow morning.
I sat by the gate, feeling pretty hopeless. The waiting area around the gate was packed, it was definitely a full flight.
I began to wonder about what I could do if I do end up getting stuck there for the night. Who I can call that might take me in for the night. In fact, I even started picking a sleeping spot.
"Passenger Woo?"
I went to the gate counter anxiously. "That would be me."
"Would an emergency exit row be okay?"
WOULD IT? I book my flights 3 months in advance every time, NEVER have I been able to get a seat in the exit rows.
"Yes, that would be fine."
"Aisle or window?"
I have a CHOICE?
As I sat in seat 14C, marveling at how far I could stretch my leg with the ridiculous leg-room the exit-row provides, I could not stop praising God.
Surely, only our Father in Heaven is in the business of turning calamity into blessing.
You know, I think I'm starting to appreciate these random problems that come up whenever I fly. They're like regular reminders of God's faithfulness.
Now, if life was fair, I'd still be in O'Hare right now, tasting the consequence of my mistake.
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
And so here I am, at home, eating delicious home-made food and typing this entry. Oh, why did I doubt?
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